Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Randomize
