I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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