I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
