pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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