I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
