Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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