Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All the doctor said was why
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
