I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
