Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
even my farts smell like vagina
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
