What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
