ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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