I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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