i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
