Tell her she can't have a vagina
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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