A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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