Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
