I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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