I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
