Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
