Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
