I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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