The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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