We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
