I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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