I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
