i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
