And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I AM VODKA MAN
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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