why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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