I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
