I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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