Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
