i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
