after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
