Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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