i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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