The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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