There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
