Betty ford says i'm here all night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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