That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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