I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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