Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My bed smells like the plague
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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