I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize