U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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