now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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