dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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