normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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