I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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