What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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