My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
