Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
