'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
