He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
as a side note pls kill me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
