Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize