You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
