Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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