But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize