Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
