In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize